What I am doing here is writing myself out of despair. Or attempting to anyhow. My book I am trying to publish has been rejected for the third time in two weeks. I’m disappointed. I’m disheartened. I’m disappointed. And questioning my value as a writer. Am I good enough? Am I worthy? Of course the answer to those questions is yes. I know that. I’m just not feeling it right now.
I don’t write this for pity. I don’t write this to wallow in the rejection either. I write it to connect with others who have felt or are feeling what I feel right now. I want to tell you that there is hope, that it will all be okay. But honestly I do not believe that right now. I may believe it tomorrow but not in this today. And I need to sit with that for a spell before I move on. This is something I want to normalize for myself. Admitting when I’m not okay so that I can move through it.
That is correct. There is no hope in this story today. I show off my wins, but not my losses—and, baby, I got the losses! This is my attempt to be transparent with myself. An accounting, a reckoning, a report of my progress, or lack thereof.
Perhaps tomorrow will be better. After all, I did come to the page today.
Jennifer Bartell 
I love this transparency! There’s power and healing in this admission for you and for us. Thanks for normalizing not being ok about an outcome. It will make your testimony all the more beautiful when your book does become published.
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Thanks for speaking life into me today, cousin!
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Hey Jennifer, just so you know, you are a very good writer and I know your writing skills will go a long the way on a blank of a eye. Never discourage when things doesn’t go the way we would want it to be. There is a saying that says when you see it gets darker, know that the hope is on its way. you’re going to be well known all over the world with your writing, just me on that. In the position that you are now always see positive in every rejections that you get in life.
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Thank you for your words of encouragement! I am much more hopeful now. I’ll be posting an update soon!
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Proud of you Niece! Keep on “pounding❤️
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Thanks for the encouragement!
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